I Was Stuck... So I Took Imperfect Action.

I did a thing! I created a SoundCloud account and shared a piece I wrote and recorded… 5 years ago?

I have been thinking about doing this for a while… but I had built it up in my head and created all these things I had to do first.

I needed to... ... re-record Foggy Fields (which was recorded on my iPad several years ago), ... finish 1-2 of the other songs I am currently working on,

... write an artists bio, ... figure out what platform would be best to share on, ... blah blah blah.

As I was going through this list in my head for the thousandth time I had a moment of clarity. I became painfully aware of the fact that I was spinning in circles with all the “shoulds”… all the “but firsts”. The stories was creating from those "shoulds" and "but firsts" were keeping me stuck... but they were also keeping me safe. Evolutionarily speaking anything that is unknown is a potential threat simply because it is unknown. And by deciding to start sharing my music I was hurling myself towards another unknown... towards letting people see yet another side of me. So my body did what she is so good at doing... she jumped in to protect me. I thanked her and assured her I was going to be just fine. Then I decided to do it imperfectly... to take imperfect action and make space to take care of my nervous system along the way.

SoundCloud was the first platform I thought of, so I created an account, which took 2 minutes.

Once the account was sitting in front of my I proceeded to add photos I love from my engagement shoot several years.

Next I wrote a short and sweet bio, pulling from what I have written in my bio elsewhere, and adding a link to my website and Instagram account.

Finally I shared Foggy Fields in its original form and added an image I had created several days earlier when playing around with album cover ideas (which felt safer at the time and was something I could point at to convince myself I was making progress).

And 15 minutes later it was done… I was over the hump... I had gotten myself unstuck.

It was a great reminder for me on how imperfect action can be the best way to get unstuck.

Now I have a SoundCloud account with a piece of music I wrote and recorded and I am excited to continue adding to it. It now feels like an open invitation for my musical self... for the voice I am actively healing my relationship with.

And regardless of what anyone else thinks of Foggy Fields, or any other piece I share in the future, I am proud of myself for sharing it.

P.S. Never forget, you are magic!