You Don't Have to Force it

First I have a confession… I let me kid watch WAY too much TV.

Yes, over the course of the pandemic we went from new parents who felt strongly about limiting screen time for at least the first few years to one’s who turned it on every morning… and evening… so we could get food ready or lay on the couch for just a few minutes. I start with this confession because it is something I have been struggling with.

On one had I have had massive amounts of guilt for the amount of TV we let her watch. And on the other hand, I am grateful for the space it has given me to take care of myself when I just don’t have anything left to give.

Recently I have really been wanting to break this habit we have built with her, but the thought of being “on” first thing with no buffer was tiring just thinking about.

I have been thinking about what I would like our mornings to look like. The energy I want to have to be able to fully engage and be present with her. The self directed play I would love her to have space for.

I decided to stop judging myself and to remove all pressure to make it happen (this was a process in and of itself).

I started noticing how we used the space and making note what I liked and didn’t like about it. I played around with what I wanted out of the space in my head and imagining what else might be possible for the room.

I let myself play and reorganize the space (yes, this is something I really enjoy doing). I moved where the TV was to take up less space and freed up enough room to add a dining room table and 6 chairs. I re-organized the big shelf and left 4 spots for her toys (that one happened yesterday). I cleaned and decluttered the house piece by pieces (still a work in progress). And I got excited about a DIY advent calendar and decided to put it together.

All of this was small steps over several months. Each one something I enjoyed doing.

And than, about a week ago, we woke up at 7am, started the advent calendar, had breakfast, played with blocks, put her stuffies to bed, played hide and seek, and had some family snuggle time on the couch while listening to music. It is was 10am before I knew it hadn't even been tempted to turn on the TV!

I didn’t white knuckle it to force a new routine. I released judgement of how it was and started playing with how I wanted it to be... and that's when things started to shift (and continue to shift). I am sure we will still have mornings that start with TV. I am sure we will still have evenings that all we have the energy for is to turn in one of her favourite shows. But that morning, and several mornings since, have let me know we are heading in a new direction. I am celebrating that.

All of that to say, if you want change you don’t have to force it. You don’t have to judge and criticize everything you are doing wrong or should be doing better.

You can show up with love, compassion and trust for yourself and create change. Moving 1% closer each day towards what you want is a win and worthy of celebration ❤️

P.S. Never forget, you are magic!